It's been tough to get back into a working girl schedule. As much as I thought I would want to go back to work, now that I'm here I struggle with wanting to be at home enjoying the cooing (and even the crying) of my baby girl. Although, I imagine I would also grow weary of being the stay at home spouse and would eventually crave some adult interaction. I think it was ideal when both Husband and I were home with Baby J. It gave each of us a bit of a break from time to time and we could ask each other questions beyond "more milk?" and "diaper change?" Of course, both of us sitting around oohing and ahhing over Baby J, isn't going to pay the bills.
I'm working on figuring out how I can feel more settled as the working mom. I am still pretty new at my job. I haven't even been here a year yet and I was gone for 6 weeks for maternity leave during which time there were some pretty big changes. Becoming more comfortable here will help with job-related stress. Figuring out exactly what is expected of me and how I can meet those expectations and still be home at a reasonable hour with Baby J is a challenge that I'm constantly thinking about. I'm hoping that Husband can find some work even though it means that Baby J may end up in daycare. Despite Husband's exceptional skill set, it is not easy to find a professional job in Duluth. I think I would breathe a little easier if we had a second income to fall back on though.
While I often worry about the little things, I need to keep the perspective that despite any of the shortcomings in life, I have more than some and have plenty to be thankful for. I have to continually remind myself of this when I start feeling overwhelmed by the 9 to 5.
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