Tuesday, March 28, 2017

not so young & the restless

I've been feeling restless lately. After having our lives in overdrive for the past six or seven years, we're finally feeling relatively settled, and yet here I am thinking that we need to move onto the next big thing. There must be some new challenge or adventure out there on the horizon just waiting for us to conquer it.

Then I think it's probably unhealthy to thrive on the stress of major life changes like we've been doing for the past several years. Maybe we should stop, take a breath, and simply enjoy the relative stability that we have managed to create.

Take some time to focus on us. We are no longer in survival mode. Maybe we have found what we have been called to do---both career and family wise. Maybe we think about the next vacation and not the next big move. Maybe we buy some furniture like real adults instead of cursing IKEA for its stupid wrenches and missing pieces.

My soul has always been impatient. Waiting for my real life to begin. But I think we're there. I think we've been there. Maybe all along.

What happens when there are no more battles to be fought? When there is nothing left to worry about? When you have time to knit a blanket, read a book, catch up on the one million back issues of the Economist that sit by your bedside? That is where I am. Full of opportunity, yet paralyzed with the overwhelming-ness of what to do next.

Maybe we just keep moving forward. At a slower pace. In smaller steps. And I simply let these people calm my restless soul. Because wherever it takes me, it would not be complete without them.

Two arms around me. Heaven to ground me. And a family that always calls me home ... I have a life that's good.