the end is near - TGIF

I started this blog post on Wednesday when my mood was a bit more gloomy and doomy ...

36 weeks. The end is near. I want to be one of those active, happy mothers to be and for the most part I was - or at the very least I was more so than I was when pregnant with Little Miss J. As the weeks tick by, however, I am becoming increasingly uncomfortable and irritable. Seriously. OMFG. At this point, I can definitively say this pregnancy is worse than the last. I continue to be nauseas, and am so uncomfortable. There is no comfortable position. None. Nada. Just existing hurts. Part of the discomfort and irritability is likely because my job is much more stressful than it was when I was at the City of Duluth. At the City, I was able to work part-time during my last month. I inquired about working part-time until delivery and was mostly met with a blank stare by my current employer, as if I were the only woman in the history of ever to request such a thing. So, I am trying to stick it out but there are times when I seriously think I'm not going to make it. I can often be found staring blankly at my computer screen because that is about the only thing I can do with the energy I have left.  I am so exhausted by the end of the day that the only thing that makes me feel better is seeing how happy my little munchkin is to see me when we arrive home. Our "quality" time spent together consists of me lying in bed with a hoard of pillows and her patting my tummy saying, "You not feeling so good, right?" Gus has taken over bath and bedtime duty full-time, except for those nights when she insists on Umma, in which case I let her lay in bed with me. As much as I want to enjoy these last few weeks with my only child, including her birthday party, my body seems to be screaming to get this baby out. I sort of dread how awful I imagine I will be feeling by birthday party time. I think I need that "Just Hang In There" cat poster. One day at a time ...

I will finish it today and can say that my mood has definitely improved ... what a difference a few days makes.My back still hurts and I'm still waddling like a weeble wobble, but some good things have happened since Wednesday:

- Last night I had so much fun at my neighbor's freezer meal workshop. I ate too much bread and dip, got to catch up a bit with my good friend, Rachael, spent some time with my little girl and had lots of laughs. Plus I now have 10 meals in my freezer ready for Baby Wang II's arrival.

- The same neighbor also gifted us a newborn photo session with her favorite photographer. What a thoughtful gift! I'm super excited. For Little Miss J, my good friend, Jenn, did the same thing and it was the best gift because I love professional photos.

- Today I got a prenatal massage! My regular therapist was booked so I sent out a desperate e-mail and found someone near the office that had an opening today. It was just OK, but it definitely took the edge off.

- Today is also Friday and I'm looking forward to a weekend of nesting and visit with our friends, Stephanie and Dan and their beautiful little girls!

- It's already 3:00 p.m. and Gus and I are planning on a quick happy hour with our boss and his wife after work.

- Several of Little Miss J's little friends have RSVPd to her birthday party, and I know she's getting excited for it.

- We officially figured out how much PTO I needed for my maternity leave and it looks like I have enough to take a full 8 weeks off, which seems like a luxury considering I only took 6 weeks the first time.

Therefore, I am renewing my commitment to enjoy these last few weeks ... it will probably last until Monday after work but it's better than nothing, right?