I am most definitely not a laid back person. I accept this. I worry about things. Lots of things. Having kid(s) has definitely raised the stakes and probably made me more high strung. What got me thinking about this is the damn CNN news updates I get on my phone. Before having Little Miss J, I didn't worry about plane accidents, brain eating amoebas, kidnapping, bullying, etc. After having a kid, my focus has been so completely on her and her happiness and safety that I see all the bad things being reported in the news and I freak out. The chances of her getting a brain eating amoeba? Probably slim. But the thought of it actually gives me a panic attack. The odds of her getting her feelings hurt at school or by her friends at some point in her life? Probably pretty high, but just thinking of her feeling badly because she was left out of something or is made fun of for not being the "cool kid" literally brings tears to my eyes. I worried about Gus flying alone because of the chance his plane would crash and we'd be left husband/father-less. These are all things that I didn't give a second thought to in my pre-baby life.
Parents just want their kids to be safe and happy. I used to think my mom was borderline crazy with her pages upon pages of rules for the babysitter and all the other things she used to worry about. It wasn't until I became a mom that I understood that parenthood seems to come hand in hand with some level of neuroses. So mom, wherever you are, I no longer think you are a nut job. I understand why you used to stay up until I arrived home from a night out and why you left such explicit babysitting instructions that made me laugh when I read them as a teenager. In fact, you may have actually been less crazy than I am. I don't think I could ever put into words how important this little girl is to me, and keeping her safe and happy does make me act
little bit crazy sometimes.
2 comments:
Not sure if I told you this ... our daycare provider talked to me about this totally awesome lemonade stand they are building. At first I was totally game and then it occurred to me that if the kids are left out there alone while she goes inside to take a kid to the bathroom or something, then OH MY GOD some car could just pull up and snatch a kid! And in a split second I had the crushing thought of what it would be like to have V taken and not know where she is and possibly hurt and I started to cry and it was everything I could do not to call Lou and tell her the kids could never ever have a lemonade stand. Sigh.
Would she really leave them outside unattended? I would be worried too!
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