the birth plan

Here it is folks, my birth plan.

1) Have a healthy baby.

2) Avoid Pitocin, if possible.

There won't be aromatherapy, hypnobabies, massage therapists, soothing music, etc. I am just going to have a baby. That's it. I am jaded enough to realize that quite frankly, birthing children is messy and none of these things is probably going to make me feel better about pushing a giant baby head out of my lady parts - but at the same time experienced enough to know that roughly two years after the messy stuff, things actually get pretty good and you have an awesome little human being that truly loves you unconditionally even when  you drop her off at 7:30 a.m., pick her up at 6:00 p.m., and then leave her with a sitter at 6:20 p.m., crying so hard she throws up.

I released all my illusions of the beautiful birthing experience about three contractions in after being induced nearly three years ago. I am prepared. It will hurt. Probably a lot. But if all goes well, I'll get a baby out of it and several months or maybe even years later it will all be worth it. Oh and the other thing that will probably keep me going is that, THIS IS THE LAST BABY I AM EVER GOING TO HAVE.