ch-ch-changes

Gus hit the nail on the head when he said I didn't like change, and despite not liking change, we've lived in three states in three years and had about as many jobs. Nevertheless, we have perservered. The newest change on the horizon is Baby Wang Chung II, and of course I am freaking out. Perhaps  a bit less than with Little Miss J because now I have first hand experience that children don't, in fact, ruin your life. They definitely make life more messy, both literally and figuratively, which is definitely not my favorite either but for some reason kid snot is OK when it's your adorable toddler, who after handing you her booger will then give you a hug and tell you she loves you.

2.5 years ago, as much as I wanted a kid, I was terrified that it would ruin my life. I like to sleep. A lot. (I also like vacation and happy hour A LOT) The thought of waking up in the middle of the night to feed, change, comfort anything was really unappealing and yet, here I am doing it 2.5 years later. But we seem to finally have come to some sort of arrangement where we are all getting more or less enough sleep. The thought of disrupting this precarious balance with a new baby scares me.

Another thing is that Gus and I have put so much effort into teaching Little Miss J manners, right vs wrong, potty training, setting limits, etc. I think we're doing a pretty good job so far, but it is HARD. Leaving a restaurant in the middle of a meal or leaving Target with a cart full of items because she is acting up, is not my favorite thing in the world - in case you were wondering. Waiting out the screaming that follows us saying "no" to something or another requires a whole other level of Seinfeld's "serenity now." The number of times I have had to say, "we poopy in the potty and not in our pants," makes me sound like a broken record. To be honest, I'm not sure I have the energy or the resolve to do it all over again. Baby Wang Chung II may be getting M&Ms for breakfast, you never know.

Yesterday, I told Gus that I was OK if Baby Wang Chung II is a dud because Little Miss J seems to be turning out really well and at least I will have one smart, relatively well-behaved child. Of course, he knows that this is just the me that hates change talking. He knows (and somewhere in the deep recesses of my mind), I also know that everything will be fine. A second child will not ruin our lives. We will adjust to being a family of four. It will take some time and I can pretty much 100% guarantee there will be some tears involved and perhaps some drugs needed but it will come. I'm really relying on those hormones to renew my sense of energy because it's time to buckle up. I have a feeling this is going to be a wild ride.