by the book

Or not by the book, as the case may be. Little Miss J has never been the textbook baby. With respect to the success stories you read in those sleep books, I am convinced this actually means that your kid wasn't that difficult in the first place. If after three nights of CIO you child self-soothes or all you need is some white noise for your child to drift off to sleep, you don't have a problem. Trust me. If you are desperate enough to put a vibrator in your child's crib because some woman on some message board told you that the only thing that worked for her kid was a vibrating "back massager," then come talk to me.

I have an entire library of sleep books - you name it, I probably own it in print or on my Nook. I made myself literally crazy and at least 50 shades of unhappy by trying to get Little Miss J to behave like the babies in those books or like my friends' babies. I was convinced that SOMETHING would work. There was, however, no magic trick in those books, and despite my diligent sleep log I ended up with a baby in my bed for the better part of a year.

We managed to have a crib sleeper that self-soothed for a few short months. Heavenly. The dream was shattered with Little Miss J learned how to get out of her crib. I would have to check Facebook to see when that was, but as I recall it was much earlier than most of her little friends. Once she was in the toddler bed, we were doomed. She cramped myself in the toddler bed with her for a couple nights. I put up a baby gate, which she promptly climbed over. We stopped short of locking her in her room.

Little Miss J is still not a great sleeper, but it has gotten better. We had to buy her a really nice full-size mattress, but now she only sleeps in her bed. One of us still has to lie with her until she falls asleep and when she wakes in the middle of the night we have to go lay down with her to talk her off the ledge. Oh, and Carl Rove must be in the room curled up next to the bed. Our path was not defined by any sleep training method, we forged our own and this is where we are. Despite being unable to implement any of these "tried and true techniques," I have one happy, healthy and well-loved and adored Little Miss J - and that is success in my book.