keeping the faith

Another thing that I rarely blog about. Religion. If I keep this up, people might start to take me seriously. But really, this will not be the demise of the blog. I will get back to regularly scheduled updates of my favorite little people shortly.

I grew up going to church---baptism, confirmation, the whole nine yards. But it wasn't until I had a family of my own that I started regularly attending church as an adult. And even then it felt more like something I was supposed to do rather than something I wanted to do. That has changed over the last few months and I think I owe it all to Little Miss J.

We enrolled her in a parochial school this fall. She attends mass. They say prayers at school. While at first it felt mildly awkward, I have actually come to welcome it. Even though, I'm not Catholic and am probably overly self-conscious about what they think of me when I don't make the sign of the cross, prayer feels good.

When we talk about school with Little Miss J, we inevitably end up talking about God. They pray each morning. They pray before eating. They learn about God and Jesus. Her faith is integrated into her daily life---in a way that is much more pronounced than how I grew up. And through her, I am reminded that Jesus isn't just for Sundays.

It fills my heart that Little Miss J is developing her relationship with God. I want her to be able to take comfort in Jesus' love for her and to be able to say "I am not afraid and I don't need to worry because God will take care of me" and to truly feel and believe that in her heart. Because I know I'm certainly not there yet. The number of things I worry about would be appalling to most. If I really could just put all my faith in God, I feel like it would make my life easier. Or, at the very least, I would need less Xanax. (I kid, sort of.)

My hope for Little Miss J (and J2 as well) that by growing up with their faith integrated with their education and being with like-minded teachers and students they will have that relationship and be able to, as they say, let go and let God. Because as Ms. Cathleen (the children's minister at our church) says, when you pray more, you pray more. When you talk about God more, you talk about God more. And for me, that has meant God's presence in our lives has been that much more noticeable.

And religion aside, I am in love with the school we have chosen. The overarching theme throughout is an emphasis on being respectful, loving and kind. One cannot argue with that. Particularly in light of the events over the last few weeks.