high five

My dear sweet darling girl,

You are finally 5! You waited all year for your birthday because with the exception of Carl Rove, yours is the last family birthday of the year. You have even celebrated each of your friends turning 5 before it was your turn. 

I am about 3 weeks late on your birthday letter, but between making 40 superhero capes and masks for your birthday party, baking 4 dozen cookies and a cake for fall festival, and putting together a treat bowl in a mandated yet tragic effort to build morale, I have not taken the time to sit down and reflect on my new 5 year old.

You are so much like me that I empathize with you wholeheartedly in your excitement, your sadness, and your frustration. We both try our best to not upset people and hate when people are upset with us. We both feel people's disappointment at a level deep within the depths of our soul. We hate disappointing people. When you get frustrated with your Appah, trust me I know how that feels. You get so excited that you are bouncing off the walls, to which I can also relate. Although, as you get older you have to hold that in or channel it in a different way, which trust me, is really hard. 

At 5 years old you are still a mix of little kid, big kid, and even a tiny bit of the little baby that I barely remember. The kindergarten you is the big kid. The big kid that is learning how to read, write, and how to cope with life's challenges, but I can still pick you up and hug you like a little kid. More than anything, you will always be my baby. I have to remember to let you try things on your own and not baby you too much.

I love your smile. I love your laugh. Your talking is a bit excessive at times, but you LOVE talking. Last night I watched a video of you explaining to your dad about what both the word "free" and the word "sarcastic" mean. I love how you explain things so matter of factly, and quite frankly you are correct more often than not. You are inquisitive and are constantly asking us to tell you how things work - like lasers, magnets, holograms, and fire. Your dad has already given you lessons in thermodynamics. 

You love watching YouTube videos of people playing with children's toys and people doing their makeup like Disney Princesses. Your favorite toys are My Little Pony and the Incredible Hulk. You love to try different foods and were so excited about cooking club at school.

You are my first, and will always have a special place in my heart. I both rejoice and lament in each of your milestones. I have shared all of my motherhood firsts with you and you have taught me that I am capable of a love greater than I ever imagined. Thank you for showing me how much a person can love another - it has given me insight into exactly how I think my own mom (who you refer to as Mama Jean) felt about me. 

You have handled this past year of growing up with as much grace as can be expected of a 4 going on 5 year old. I'm so proud of the person you are becoming. I love everything about you. From the top of your head to the tips of your toes. You truly are the best thing! I wish you nothing but a year full of laughter and love.

All my love forever and ever,

Umma