Wednesday, January 29, 2014

this is us

My friend, Jenn, shared this Huff Post article about what marriage is really like after 23 years. Well, we've only got 6 years under our belt but that article pretty much summed it up. We aren't the most romantic couple. We barely celebrate anniversaries, and holidays aren't the gift giving occasions that I was used to from previous relationships. One year, Gus may or may not have shoved my Christmas present under a chair in lieu of wrapping it, and I don't even remember the last time I got a birthday card from him.

But he is everything that I am not. He has patience when mine is lost. He holds on to me as I teeter on the edge. He can manage (or tune out) the constant chatter of a three year old, when I am silently (or not so silently) pleading serenity now. He has an answer when I only have questions. He is the person that will talk to me at 1:00 a.m. when I am worried about work even though we should be taking advantage of the fact that our four month old is actually sleeping five hour stretches these days. Last week was overwhelmingly soul crushing from a work perspective - work piled on top of more work and the panic of the thought of having less time with my little ones reduced me to tears on more than one occasion. Over the weekend, Gus kept suggesting things for us to do and he finally just said something to the effect that I seemed really sad and he thought we should do something to cheer me up. (Perhaps that is why he was letting me entertain the thought of taking Little Miss J to Disneyland with Rachael ... hmmm.) But seriously, he is the person I trust most in the world and the person with whom I am my most honest self without ever worrying that it will change how he feels about me. We are truly better together, and the simple fact that he always just wants to make happy is worth more than any gift wrapped or not.

I believe our strength is measured not by how we act during the good times but how we react to the difficult. We've been through job loss, cross-country moves, PPD, miscarriage, sleepless nights, and yet we've managed to escape relatively unscathed and with two of the most beautiful children in the history of ever. We may celebrate President's Day rather than Valentine's Day, and we may even do that a bit mundanely, but there is no one in the world better suited for us than each other. I am proud of what we have accomplished and built together. I am proud of our family and of our relationship.