love

With Mother's Day right around the corner, I have been thinking about my own mom often. She was an amazing mom, woman, and person. I know people don't speak ill of the dead, but even if they did I don't think I could find a person that would have an unkind word to say about her. She was caring, compassionate, creative, a fantastic cook, and above all she loved her family.

 

My mom and her love for me and my brother is my example of motherhood and my basis for my relationship with Little Miss J. My mom never failed to make me feel loved, and I hope I am making my little princess feel the same way. I don't know what is like to be the mom of an adopted child. You haven't had something growing in you for 40 weeks and you don't have the oxytocin to blur all the rough edges - but from my perspective, none of that mattered to my mom. I don't think she loved me any differently, and I think that is saying something. People say you just love your baby, and it is true but when you give birth there are a lot of biological mechanisms that aid in that bonding process. I just dropped into my mom's lap at 6 months old, not completely unexpectedly but still.

 

After my mom had passed away, someone told me a story about her. It was something they had overhead my mom say to me when I was younger in reference to that story, The Velveteen Rabbit. She had told me that her love for me made me her real daughter just like the boy's love made the rabbit real. It had nothing to do with hormones or biology, just the simple fact that she loved me. To honor my mom and her love for her family, my hope is that I can make Little Miss J feel as loved as I did growing up.