21 weeks

Dear Baby Wang Chung II,

You are halfway baked. It would seem from your ultrasound that you have all the required parts and those kicks that I felt all. night. long. last  night indicate you must be doing pretty well in there. Thankfully, the morning sickness seems to have gone away except for the rare occasion. The pregnancy insomnia rages on but it has allowed me to make some headway on your babty blanket.

Your big sister is sort of reveling in all the attention she is getting for being a big sister. We brought her to your ultrasound and while she wasn't really that interested in seeing you on the big screen, she was very interested in hearing everyone say "gradulations" (congratulations) at school when she informed them of her impending change in status.

Don't be surprised if you love Mike & Ikes when you get out. They seem to have become a regular food group during this pregnancy. Particularly the Redrageous ones, which are so good that I seriously think I had a rush of endorphins after eating them.

I continue to prep Little Miss J for your arrival. When pressed, she did say that she wouldn't hold your hand in the parking lot but she would sing to you. By the time you are walking through the parking lot, I assume she will have reconsidered her stance on hand holding. But you never know, she's awfully stubborn.

I am equally parts excited and terrified that we are halfway done with this phase. I'm excited to not be pregnant again (EVER), but I'm a bit terrified of what I am supposed to do with you once you get here. Probably the same stuff I did with your sister, which felt like nothing and was exhausting all at the same time. I was just telling your Appah that when your sister was born I was so excited to do all these things with my daughter like take her to the park, the zoo, etc. but really all you do is feed and change a baby. But trust me, it's much more fun when you get older. AND if your sister ever stops pooping in her underwear, we may finally get to go to Disneyland. At the rate she is progressing, it's looking like you will definitely be here before this happens. So you've also got that to look forward to!

Love,
your "I would kill for a cup of coffee right now" umma.

21 weeks

happy memorial day!

Let me first say, I am grateful to all those who serve our country and keep us safe. I may, however, have let the true meaning of Memorial Day slide by unnoticed when I jubilantly declared, "No work, no school YAY" on Sunday night because throughout Monday Little Miss J kept saying, "No work, no school YAY!"

We had a wonderful three-day weekend. On Saturday after gymnastics and naptime, we headed to the county fair, which did not disappoint in the people watching aspect. Little Miss J had a great time riding the kiddie rides and playing a game where you throw balls into cups. After $15 worth of balls, the man gave her a prize and ever since she has been declaring, "I the winner!" While watching her go on rides by herself, it really hit me that she is getting to be such a big girl. She climbed in and buckled and unbuckled her little seatbelt all on her own. She wanted to ride the dragon kiddie coaster. When Gus didn't fit into the little seat, she just went all on her own. As I watched her get jerked around, holding onto the side with a serious look on her face I about had a heart attack - but when pressed she insisted it was fun and not scary.

riding teacups with Appah


After living here for 9 months, on Sunday we finally made it to San Francisco. Both Gus and I have been, but never together. We went to the California Academy of Science, which was a fantastic museum. As Little Miss J says, we saw "butterflies, fishies, penguins, no dolphins."

 

watching the butterfly

 

aye aye captain!

We made it back to Sacramento in time for a BBQ at Auntie Rachael's and Uncle Randy's house, where Little Miss J did a little splashing in their pool. Thankfully for this mama, she stayed on the top step and didn't require an adult to get in with her - it was cold! Monday we laid low since both Gus and I have been fighting colds. Little Miss J went for a playdate at Karly's house and then out for Korean food.

Glad it is only a four day work week! Happy Memorial Day!


 



telephone

Little Miss J has gotten to the age where she can play messenger between Gus and me, when necessary. And by necessary, I typically mean sheer laziness on one of our parts. Given, however, that she is only two years old, it often becomes a bit of a game of telephone and sometimes requires shouting through the hallway to figure out what the heck Gus (or I) really wants the other one to do. In hindsight, it typically becomes clear how Little Miss J had interpreted her instructions and how she went about trying to convey them and I usually end up telling her how smart she is.

On Saturday, while Gus was putting together Ikea furniture, she came running out of the room telling me, "Appah needs green box." What Appah needed was the grey box, which is the color of our toolbox. Yesterday, Gus was making Little Miss J's bed and I guess he had left the two pillowcases in the dryer. All I heard was Little Miss J say, "Umma has them." Then she comes into the living room and tells me, "Missing one in machine." I had no idea what she is talking about until she brings me to the dryer and bangs on it.

Two is hard with many meltdowns resulting from wanting to assert independence but not always having the skills to do the task, but it is so much fun watching Little Miss J learn how to communicate and convey her thoughts. After she got me to get the pillowcases out of the dryer and I told her she was smart, and her reply in a bored tone was ... "yeah, yeah, yeah," like she's heard it all before (which she has).

a perfect weekend

It's not often that I feel like I had the perfect weekend. Sometimes I feel like I spent too much time doing errands and others we were so busy doing fun things that we didn't get the essentials done like picking up milk. Admittedly, I have high expectations and am not that easy to please. But this weekend was the perfect balance of getting things done around the house and having lots of fun.

I had a little bit of "me" time Saturday morning and got a few errands accomplished when Gus took Little Miss J to her gymnastics class. Then there was an impromptu trip to Ikea sans child thanks to our neighbors and we picked up a couple new dressers, one for Little Miss J and one for Baby Wang Chung II. While Gus slaved away putting together Ikea furniture, Little Miss J and I had a tea party and then played outside until dinner. It was hot so we turned on the sprinkler to cool off.

 

 

 

On Sunday we got up early (we always get up early thanks to a certain Little Miss who rarely sleeps past 5 a.m.) and got ready to head to the beach. We went to Dillon Beach, where they allow off-leash dogs. The weather was chilly and windy, but it did not stop my little ones from having  a blast. It was Carl's first time in the ocean and he wasn't sure what to think of it at first, but as soon as he saw someone throw a tennis ball in he dove straight into the surf and didn't want to stop. Little Miss J was happing running around barefoot on the sand and digging holes. Gus helped her make a sand castle and Carl helped by digging the moat.

 

 

 

 

We stayed at the beach for a couple hours and then headed back to the 90 degree heat in Sacramento. After a little rest, we went to Home Depot to pick up some veggie plants for Gus's garden. Little Miss J was so wiped out she actually slept in the shopping cart while we picked out plants. She woke up long enough at home to help Gus plant the garden and eat some dinner.

 

 

I think the best part of this weekend was that we were able to involve the whole family and Carl didn't have to miss out on the fun. With moving around so much over the past few years, the fact that we were able to do something as mundane as taking Carl swimming, like we used to do almost every weekend in the summer in Minnesota, made me feel more settled than I have felt in a long time.

It was a perfect weekend and a perfect Mother's Day.

 



love

With Mother's Day right around the corner, I have been thinking about my own mom often. She was an amazing mom, woman, and person. I know people don't speak ill of the dead, but even if they did I don't think I could find a person that would have an unkind word to say about her. She was caring, compassionate, creative, a fantastic cook, and above all she loved her family.

 

My mom and her love for me and my brother is my example of motherhood and my basis for my relationship with Little Miss J. My mom never failed to make me feel loved, and I hope I am making my little princess feel the same way. I don't know what is like to be the mom of an adopted child. You haven't had something growing in you for 40 weeks and you don't have the oxytocin to blur all the rough edges - but from my perspective, none of that mattered to my mom. I don't think she loved me any differently, and I think that is saying something. People say you just love your baby, and it is true but when you give birth there are a lot of biological mechanisms that aid in that bonding process. I just dropped into my mom's lap at 6 months old, not completely unexpectedly but still.

 

After my mom had passed away, someone told me a story about her. It was something they had overhead my mom say to me when I was younger in reference to that story, The Velveteen Rabbit. She had told me that her love for me made me her real daughter just like the boy's love made the rabbit real. It had nothing to do with hormones or biology, just the simple fact that she loved me. To honor my mom and her love for her family, my hope is that I can make Little Miss J feel as loved as I did growing up.

 

 

 

wordless wednesday

not so wordless wednesday

Here's what happened on Sunday at Costco -

 

Oh, pretty dresses!

Appah, come here. I have to show you something!

 

J: I want that one! Gus: OK.

When we were leaving teh store, Gus said - "I wish I could take Juliet shopping more, but we got milk so we have to go home." #sucker