way too sick

After Reno nearly killed me, there was little question that I was way too sick to run Way Too Cool 50k. This, however, was not going to stop me. Or maybe it was.

Late in the week, I begged Annalisa (my most crazy running friend) for a pep talk. I lied to the urgent care doctor to score some Tamiflu, which probably didn't really help because I had already been sick for like a week, hence the lying. I patiently listened to the doctor apologize that I would be missing the run ... patient because i figured it would be useless to tell him that I was just gonna run anyway. Plausible deniability?

Woke up Saturday. No fever. Ate ice cream from a carton standing in my kitchen for breakfast. Grabbed my training partner and headed for the hills.

 

Then I started running. Then I just kept running. Hit the first aid station at mile 8, which was conveniently close to my car and would have made for a reasonable place to drop, but I felt OK so figured I'd just keep going. When I got about 8 miles out from Goat Hill, I figured I should just keep going until I saw Annalisa, who would be at the top. Can I tell you that I have never been so happy for a hill, just so I could take a break and walk?

At the top of Goat Hill, there's only 4.6 miles to the finish so what the hell, I figured I should just finish. So finish I did. Look how much fun I'm having ... If Annalisa tries to tell you that it is like a "party" she is either wrong, or her definition of party is very different than that of the general population (including me).

And that, in a nutshell is how I completed my first 50k. It was pretty simple. Just keep going, over (or through) the river, up the hills, and through the woods.

Afterward, there was no cool jacket or giant medal. There was just me changing my pants in a ditch by the side of the road and driving home barefoot because I forgot flip-flops. This was no party. But, to be honest, it was a pretty cool thing to accomplish in Cool, no less.

hibernation

We, and this blog, went into a state of inactivity over the winter. I'm not sure where the last few months have gone.

There were non-milestone birthdays. We celebrated mine with a quick overnight to San Francisco for dim sum and the Museum of Ice Cream.

There were some pretty views.

I felt like I was dying from the flu, but ran my first ultra anyway. That probably deserves its own post.

There was a quick getaway to Santa Cruz thanks to a work thing.

We did some skiing, but wish we had done more. I also really wish I did not have a blue helmet.

While there's still plenty of snow, spring break starts today and we're on to soccer tryouts and swim team.

We are out of hibernation mode, and now you're all caught up.

mele kalikimaka

Christmas has never been quite the same since my mom passed away. The very first Christmas afterward, EVERYONE got together at my uncle's house on Lake Minnetonka and that was the closest it's ever been since October 9, 2001. After having my own kids, I was dead set on making it the hometown, Hallmark movie, Christmas that I remembered growing up. Complete with cousins running around, lots of food, but minus the weird Jello salad. Unfortunately, since leaving Minnesota, I don't have enough nearby family to actually make this a reality so despite my kids being generally happy, I've sort of always felt let down by the holidays.

The solution? Christmas in Maui! The emphasis was more on vacation and beaches than on the actual holiday. We were making memories with the people we loved. It was relaxing. I had a pina colada, or two. I ate sushi. I wasn't at home trying to think of what I was supposed to do next because I didn't have a jam packed schedule of visiting a bunch of people and eating two dinners for the holidays. Don't get me wrong, I love the holiday shuffle and the non-stop eating, but when you don't have it in your life you sort of feel at a loss of what to do. It was pretty perfect.

We spent Christmas Eve on the beach.

Christmas Day was more of the same. Santa even found us in Hawaii.

Then we dressed up and went to dinner and didn't take a single picture of all of us together.

Traveling over Christmas kept us relaxed and focused on just spending time together. My kids got plenty of vacation souvenirs and Santa gifts, and not being asked for the umpteenth time about when they got to open presents was certainly a relief. We're definitely considering making this a tradition.

i *think* i'm done

Despite that I just Googled Hanson's marathon training the first post-CIM morning, I really think I am breaking up with that race. Famous last words. Never say never though. I mean, I did have another baby after swearing that off. But for now, let's just go with it's over.

pre-race shakeout with Oiselle birds!

I would love to be one of those people that runs for the love it, whose goal is to "have fun" racing. But let's be honest, that would probably be setting myself up for failure and that's not really my thing. Don't get me wrong. I like running, or at least I don't hate it. I am in love with my running tribe. I am grateful that I can run. And it feels good to do hard things. I think what I like most is that since I really just started running, I haven't peaked yet. Every race, every year is a chance to train harder, race smarter and see what hard thing I can do next.

I am not, however, that serious about racing. My training "plan" and I use that term in the loosest sense was a mashup of the plan I used last year while training with Fleet Feet and whatever my tribe was doing. You want to run 10 tempo miles 30 seconds faster than my planned goal marathon pace at 4:30 in the morning? Sure, I'm your girl. You want to do two 22-mile runs this training cycle? I only need 17 miles this week, but hell, I'll do an extra five. Will I pace you on a 22-mile death march in the middle of the night? Yep, and I will even walk through a creek and get my feet wet so yours don't have to. Did I accidentally do some of my workouts feeling a little hungover? Yeah, I did that too.

I also listened to Matt Fitzgerald's "How Bad Do You Want It?" along with running podcasts and YouTube videos, because I have always known that my mental game is where I fall apart. I get caught up in the suffering, careening down a slippery slope until I have given up because my mind tells me I just can't endure a higher perceived rate of effort. This year my plan was to race smarter. Be conservative on the front end. Don't burn the house down in the first few miles because I'm excited and feel good. I didn't get to test this plan because my tune up run, Monterey Bay Half Marathon got cancelled.

ALL THAT lead to me toeing the start line cozied right up to the 4:00 hour pacer. My goal was to drop about 7 minutes from last year and finish sub-4:00. The idea was to hang with the 4:00 hour group and then speed up right at the end because 3:59.59 is sub-4:00.

I hung out with the gang for the entire first half and it felt great. I felt strong, but anxious. Anxious because I was worried about what it was going to feel like later. As each mile passed I continued to feel strong. Not stronger, but just relieved that I wasn't falling apart. At 13.1, I pulled a bit ahead of the pacers after which I never looked back. I wasn't checking my watch, but I knew as long as I could stay ahead of them, I was going to hit my A goal.

13.1

Mile 18

I didn't even look at my watch until mile 22, at which point I realized I was running about a 9:00 mile. Mile 23.5 my cheering squad showed up---both my mama tribe and my Oiselle teammates. I didn't bother stopping because I had no idea how close that 4:00 pace group was and I didn't want to find out. So I waved and kept going.

The last mile was the hardest. Although I felt pretty good for having run 25 miles ... I had just run 25 miles. Then, I looked at my watch and realized that unless something catastrophic happened I was going to be sub-4:00, which resulted in me walking just a wee bit. I really hate the last part of the race through downtown. Unlike everyone else, the crowd energy doesn't fuel my inner burn. I'm almost entirely self-motivated. The race is me chasing pavement. Staying focused on running my race and not someone else's. Everything else is just a distraction.

I hit the 400 meter marker, put my head down and went for it. I didn't look for my family because last year stopping to wave to my kids cost me a sub-2:00 half marathon. I did hear them yell as I raced by so I knew they were there. And then it was over. Mission accomplished.

This isn't really the face of someone having fun ... even J1 told me afterward that my face didn't look v. happy. Ha.

There is, however, something to be said about setting goals, working hard, and seeing it all come together.

Post-race, I feel pretty good. I think I'm fully recovered and left wondering (again), if maybe I could have pushed harder. Part of me thinks for me to go faster, I would really have to be dedicated and give up something else, like taking care of my children. But there's always that part of you that wonders how much you can do with how little you have. Here's to wondering. Because as of now, I am NOT signed up to re-run CIM.

november rain

We need some. California is on fire. Literally.

Last year California was on fire and a race that I had trained for and was super excited about, Napa Ragnar, was cancelled. This, however, meant I got to spend my Saturday-Sunday with Tammy watching her crush the Rio Del Lago course. So it worked out.

This year, California, on fire again and a race that I trained for and was super excited about, Monterey Bay Half Marathon, was cancelled. I was going to run fast. I was going to run smart. It was going to be my last confidence boost before CIM in a few weeks. Until it wasn't. But again, it worked out.

We spent the long weekend exploring Pacific Grove and Monterey.

We stopped by the beach. The water was cold.

We went to the Monterey Bay Aquarium, which is right on the ocean and amazing. I did not get any amazing photos of the fan favorite sea otters, unfortunately. But both kids got up close to watch the sea otter feeding, which I also didn't get a photo of because I was standing in the back. Short people problems.

We even ran into some Carleton swammers. Carrie and her family were in town escaping the poor air quality in Alameda, while Karin was fleeing the Woolsey fire in Southern California. Next time we are all in Monterey due to wildfire, we'll have to remember to get a photo of all of us.

We also visited the Dennis the Menace park, which is a very nice, very large park designed, in part, by Hank Ketcham, where I managed to lose J2 a minimum of three times.

But just like the cat, he continued to come back. Thankfully.

Finally, on Monday as we headed back into what now feels like the apocalypse, we took our time stopping in Gilroy to do some shopping.

So what have we learned? November is a bad race month for this girl. But it's a good month for seeing old friends and spending time with family. There's nothing more I could ask for! Except for rain and clean air, please.