being thankful

I have had a hard time finding the words to adequately describe how blessed I feel each and every day. It's either a result of overwhelming gratitude or the sleep deprivation, most likely the latter. Although, I would probably joke and say that all I want for Christmas is 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep - the last 3+ years of not sleeping through an entire night are one of the things I am most thankful for because it means my home is filled with one Little Miss J belting out "I Miss You a Merry Christmas and my Happy New Year," and correcting Gus when he tries to explain it is "wish" rather than "miss,"and one very chill J2. The feeling of having my own little family brings me unspeakable joy. I am thankful for these two little turkeys and think the fun is really just beginning. I can't wait to see them grow up and play together.

confessions of a christmas addict

I have a confession to make, since my neighbor outed me on Facebook anyhow. I put my Christmas tree up on Tuesday. Yes, before Thanksgiving. It just seemed like the reasonable thing to do since this was my last week of maternity leave and I had the time. It was that or watch more 24, and sometimes you just need a break from Jack Bauer. He's a bit intense.

I waited until Little Miss J came home so she could help decorate. She was so excited when she walked in and saw the tree all lit up. She ran into her room yelling, "I have to get my decorations." Grandma Amy had given her a ballerina ornament that Little Miss J says, "looks just like her on her tippy toes." The concept of only one ornament per branch was clearly lost on this three year old.

I discreetly rebalanced the ornaments the next day and she was none the wiser.

The finished product. Complete with Little Miss J's pink Hello Kitty tree, which I keep trying to convince her belongs in her room ... sigh. But as Little Miss J says, "My tree. It's so beautiful. Let's stand back and look."

throwback thursday

wordless wednesday

 

J1 is 3!

 

Dear Little Miss J,

Sorry for the belated birthday letter this year. With everything that has been going on, it was difficult finding the time to sit down and focus on the past year with you. You are still my favorite little girl and your non-stop chatter is both amazing and crazy making. Since you will only take a nap in the car these days, we tend to plan our errands and trips around an appropriate nap time for you. I often feel as though I am held hostage in the car by your napping schedule. Thank goodness for smart phones and Candy Crush. On a recent nap ride, you talked non-stop until you passed out, and an hour later woke up and started in jabbering right where you left off, as if you had never taken a break. Sometimes the silence of sitting at home with your baby brother is a welcome change from the incessant asking of "WHY?"

You are such a girly girl. You love dresses, princesses, ballet, Hello Kitty, sticker earrings and gymnastics. Appah is pretty happy J2 is here and he can see the light at the end of the tunnel - the tunnel being playing tea party, ballet teacher, and dancing. You are also such a good little helper. You like to help me cook and bake, and you help with the dishes and the laundry. Sometimes it actually makes the task more difficult, but I hate to discourage the "helping." You make me laugh (and want to cry) every. single. day. You know what you want and you want it instantaneously. You lack patience, which in part is not really even your fault. Both your Appah and I have no patience either so we figure it is genetic.

I am so proud of the big girl you are becoming. You are finally potty trained! Hallelujah!  You know how to spell your name and you are starting to be able to recognize letters and numbers. You are quite the little smarty pants and know how to work your Umma and Appah. When you are asked to do something you don't want to do, your typical response is ... "I have a deal ...," and we usually end up in a lengthy negotiation. You are quite the good listener - as long as it isn't one of your parents telling you to do something. But for the most part, you are a very good girl.

I am looking forward to all the amazing things you will do in your life. You truly make this world (and my life) a better place. While I could imagine a life without your whining, I can't imagine a day without your smiling face! I hope you will always know how much we love you and that we will support you in anyway possible. You are the best thing I have ever made and my proudest accomplishment.

love you to the moon and back,

your Umma

he loves me he loves me not

After four weeks of a brand new baby, I can definitively say that I still have a love hate relationship with newborns. Nevertheless, this time around has been completely different. With Little Miss J, we went from just the two of us to the neediest creature one could ever imagine. On top of which I was exhausted, sore, and felt like I never had a chance to catch my breath let alone recover from her birth. Pretty sure I actually resented her existence.  I hated getting up at all hours of the night and I hated sitting there holding her because she refused to sleep in any other position. As irrational as this sounds, I felt like Little Miss J was trying her best to ruin my life. I loved and resented her in equal measure. Not going to lie, I still hate getting up in the middle of the night, I am completely over changing diapers, and being attached to a pump feels like a special sort of degradation that you don't get just anywhere. But this time around, it definitely feels less personal. The love hate relationship is more with this stage of life and not with my actual child. And really, part of it could be the relief of knowing that this is the last time I am going to go through the newborn stage ... of course the fact that J2 sleeps independently definitely doesn't suck either. This is it. I  won't miss the round the clock every 2-3 hour feedings but little J2 is just what we needed to complete our family, and I am certainly glad we have two perfect little munchkins. I definitely love them more than not (most days).

every child is an artist

And here is how far mine has come in the last year ...

Last January Little Miss J drew a balloon. Yes, I know. Don't say it.

Just this past week, however, she drew a mouse ...

I would say that is quite the improvement, no?